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How to punish a submissive, Punish lady How men for submissive

Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions.

How To Punish A Submissive

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Freebies Get the Book Learn Rope. A punishment in a BDSM relationship is dished out by the dominant partner when the submissive breaks the rules set out for her or behaves in a way which does not please her Dom.

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Training is an element that some couples incorporate into their BDSM relationships. Punishment is used to correct unwanted behavior, and some dominants strive to find the perfect punishment. The following BDSM punishment ideas and advice will help you find what works for you and your relationship.

BDSM punishments are a way to help a dominant train their submissive. Whenever your submissive does something wrong, you punish him to teach a lesson. On the other hand, you provide encouragement and reward for those things that he does right. It means he understands the rules and your expectations — and he provides the right amount of attention to detail when performing those tasks.

These tasks and their corresponding punishments might be outlined in your BDSM contract discover more in this post on BDSM contractsor they may be more informal. You devise them as the need arises and as you see fit. You might not have a training or service relationship at all, instead focusing more on sensation, sadomasochism, or bondage over discipline.

Or you might be intent on training your submissive with a focus in positive reinforcement versus negative punishment. Now, there is no actual crime. There might be a bad attitude, a broken rule or some other infraction. But whatever you choose for discipline must be more or less equal to the infraction. A minor mistake, therefore, might warrant a timeout. You should save harsher BDSM punishments for worse — or repeated — infractions. Consider this: use the least painful punishment to get the message across. If you have trouble matching the discipline to the error, you might be disciplining your submissive in anger.

Anger can lead to making poor decisions regarding the BDSM punishments you give. BDSM punishments must be practical and possible to complete. Failure is not your objective with BDSM discipline. Even though this might be a good form of BDSM discipline for an able-bodied person, a slip or fall could lead to further injury. Furthermore, avoid punishments that could be potentially dangerous, including those that dehydrate someone or cut off their circulation. If your submissive is trying to please you by following instructions, he might not let you know that he cannot perform a certain task to your expectations.

How do bdsm punishments work?

Pay attention to any s of distress. Stop or adjust the punishment before it becomes a problem. Some people struggling with dishing out discipline because it feels wrong. Surprise punishments are out of the question. Your submissive might not even know what he did wrong. You should give him the opportunity to explain his mistake. This can even be a bit of delicious torment for him as he tries to figure it out. This is an opportunity to go over expectations. Surprise punishment can be confusing and hurtful, not to mention damaging for the trust that you two share.

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The two of you have agreed to X punishment for Y error. You complete punishment and give a lesson; then you move on. This is true for any romantic relationship, not just BDSM relationships. It includes all the activities that help to keep a submissive mentally, emotionally and physically cared for after a scene. Aftercare can include balm or ointment for spanking and other impact play, a warm blanket, a cool drink that contains electrolytes and cuddling. Some dominants use timeouts as a type of BDSM punishment. An extension of this is ignoring them, which is certainly a punishment.

But some people view it as a hard limit. It can lead to insecurity and broken trust. Used incorrectly ignoring someone might also be viewed as emotionally abusive. Obviously, many participants in BDSM enjoy activities that others might be turned off by. There are those who advise against using any impact play as a form of BDSM punishment if impact play also serves as an erotic activity.

Related : Erotic Spanking. For example, your sub might like spanking or paddles but hate the cane. Thus, caning is a better idea for a BDSM punishment. It will, but it could also have negative side effects. You can have your sub come up with a list of BDSM punishment ideas that are suitable for the offense.

Many forms of BDSM punishment require that you pay attention.

1. force him to cook naked

Otherwise, how will you truly know if your submissive is remorseful, learning a lesson or just plain doing what you said? Remain in the same room if at all possible. So keep that in mind when coming up with punishment ideas. If you see your slave mess up, you can correct him. However, if you see that your slave is unable to complete what you asked of him, then you may need to adjust it.

Look for changes in skin color or breathing. You might have ased punishment, but being a dominant is also about taking care of your submissive. Ultimately, BDSM punishments show you care by helping your submissive grow and remain able. Close search. Physical punishment includes any spanking, paddling, canning or another impact tool. An effective way to discipline includes having your submissive count out the spankings find more BDSM games like this onewhich becomes difficult as you increase the intensity.

Bondage forms of discipline work well.

The punishment should fit the crime

For example, keep someone tied while kneeling, or you can have them perch with a book on his head or hold a ping pong ball between the wall and his nose or 10 pennies against the wall, one for each finger or thumb. A cage takes physical bondage to the extreme. Try mental bondage, which requires your sub to stay in the same place for a specified amount of time. Kneeling is a form of punishment that is particularly common among kinksters.

Instruct him to kneel at your feet or in the corner; it will be uncomfortable but does no lasting damage, so it makes a good form of discipline when your slave has broken the rules. Kneeling on uncooked rice will really test his reserves. Restrictive discipline means you take something away that they like. Not being able to sleep in the same room as you, use furniture, make eye contact or walk upright are other restrictions to consider. Once your sub has shown he is properly remorseful, he can go back to his phone.

Orgasm control chastity belts work well to this end is a specific type of restrictive punishment. Your submissive is only allowed to touch themselves and orgasm with your permission. And you revoke that permission when rules are broken. Alternatively, you can consider forcing orgasms past the point of comfort.

Learn more about orgasm denial. Some dominants take a cue from old-fashioned schoolmarms. Think of Bart Simpson writing on the blackboard in the classroom as the beginning credits roll. Alternatively, you might want to have your submissive write the rule, which helps to cement it in his head. Another option is to have him write the reasons why doing something such as being late is a problem. What chore does your sub hate doing?

Perhaps doing the dishes or scrubbing the toilet? What better way to punish them, then! Make it difficult by binding part of their body. Errand running is another option, too, and you can up the ante by forcing him to wear a certain thing a thong beneath his clothing or a butt plugfor example, while he does those things. For slaves who wear collars, forbidding them from wearing it for a period of time can be incredibly effective.

What normally acts as a reminder of your bond, and one that he can touch, is removed until you deem it appropriate for him to put it back on. BDSM relationships that already employ speech rules the sub addressing the dominant in a certain way or only speaking when spoken tothen revoking permission to speak is an effective punishment.